Marble Composition

Where's My Barfbag?

I was just watching NBC Nightly News, and while there's no transcript up yet, the bimbo, Campbell Brown, with the make-up and cheery smile said something that goes like this:

We contacted the White House to see what the president is reading over the holiday season, and it's a book about Teddy Rosevelt's life post-presidency. We're not suggesting that the president is thinking about his life after his second term, but it's a book that our anchor Brian Williams highly recommended!

When the transcript comes up I will post exactly what she said. My reaction was, why isn't Brian Williams on a plane headed for Crawford so he can read George a bedtime story before he goes night-night at 8:30? Can they send a bigger winky-winky to the Bush administration saying, don't worry, we're here being vigilant for you? Maybe Condi can scrape Georgie's FromUnda Cheese and FedEx it to Brian so he can slap it on his eggs in the morning. Jeebus Fucking Christ...

[Okay, that was a little uncalled for...]

Update: [12/28/05 7:44 PM] Here's the exact text from the show:

CAMPBELL BROWN, anchor:

President Bush is on vacation at his Texas ranch this week, and the White House today revealed what he's reading while he's relaxing: a book titled "When Trumpets Called: Theodore Roosevelt After the White House." A spokesman said that title is not an indication that the president is already thinking about the end of this term. And according to the White House, the book came highly recommended by NBC's own Brian Williams. We just wanted to let our vacationing anchorman know that.

I'll be right back with a new way to cook that may mean the future of fine dining is in the bag.

No, Campbell, you and your producers are in the Bag. This is what passes for "news" in our country these days. They couldn't care less if their anchorman knew that, they wanted to make sure Karl Rove and George Bush knew it. When Bill Clinton was president, everyone assumed he was pretty well read. He was a Rhoades Scholar. With Mr. I'm-Not-Really-That-Interested, Rove and his never-ending political operation have to advertise that our president is actually reading a book. And, more importantly, the producers at NBC News lap it up like kittens to milk. Who decides that that deserves air time?

The propaganda they throw at us is that George W. Bush is the everyman, the common man, the tough guy, a man who never met a patch of brush he couldn't shred. And then we get the silly bullshit that he might actually be consuming something meaningful. What they're selling is, "he's a thinker too, but mostly he's a doer, he thinks about the tough stuff, but his actions are clear". Such claptrap, if anyone would care to take a look past the thin veneer, is obviously utter tripe. This is propaganda nearly at its purest form. During the holiday lull, when Congress is out of session, and the president is nestled down quiet like in Texas, his political operation is in full stint busy convincing us that presidentin' is indeed hard work. Bike ridin' and readin' is hard work.

Here's another nugget. Nora O'Donnell, filling in for the Misinformer of the Year, tells me that the president is also reading Imperial Grunts by Robert Kaplan. Here I might be set right with a firm correction. Slogging through the horseshit Kaplan churns out might indeed make presidentin' tough work.

(Let me preface my next few comments by saying that I believe NCO's truly are the bedrock of our military. When the men and women who comprise our armed forces rise to that rank, they have truly earned it. And they deserve our utmost respect. I know a Marine who rose to that rank during the first Gulf War, and he is one of the most upstanding individuals that I'll ever know. He's a Teddy Bear with a razor-sharp mind. Full disclosure: I never served in the military. When I was coming up, and of age, there was no need. Our nation was not at war. Not like the supposed permanent one we have now. I regret it now for the experience I missed. That ship has set sail, and there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm too damned old.)

As far as Kaplan is concerned, he's ensconsed in his cozy book barn up in Massachusetts before he decides to jet off to parts unknown where he can thrill us all with his bold adventures. Roaming the dangerous countryside with his American protectorates. Pining for the overt militarism that is American foreign policy. Tough Guy meets Brown Guy, and Robert makes sure we know who wins. Returning from his mission to tell us what a bunch of soft-heeled shitheads that we all are.

Staying out of Washington is a badge of honor Robert wears proudly. The big problem is he doesn't quite get it when he becomes so out of touch. I wondered if Dear Ms. Nora didn't actually do a supposed well-prespected writer a real disfavor. She trumpeted the fact that one of our most incurious of presidents was reading something based on the coveted "on the ground" perspective, you know, the kind of perspective that gives you no view of what the big picture looks like. Would you recommend that kind of book to anyone?

Richard had it right, oh so many years ago, this president is proud of saying, "I'm the illegal dummy, you figure it out on your own. Dummies."

(Thanks be to Tbogg and James Wolcott)

posted by FuzzFinger @ 12/27/2005 07:23:00 PM