Marble Composition

Fetish America

What do all of these people have in common?

• U.S. Senator equates gay rights to "man on dog" sex.
• U.S. Senator equates gay rights to unions of men and box turtles.
• Prominent talk show host says gay rights will lead to unions with goats.
• Doctor who's wife says he forcibly sodomized her, often while she was unconcious due to her narcolepsy. (he's also a 2002 Bush appointee to the Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs in the Food and Drug Administration).
• State Department Undersecretary (currently the U.S. nominee for U.N. Ambassador) forced his wife to have group sex in a Manhattan swingers club.
  
• Anti-abortionist admits to having sex with a mule on national radio.
• Female culture crusader states that condoms lead to cancer and STD's are spread by skin contact alone.
  

Why they're Conservative Republicans of course. And, some very religious ones I might add. Oh I know you're saying, "c'mon Fuzzy, you're talking about all those dirty, heathenistic, SoHo Liberals." Um, no, go click on the links above if you'd like to learn more.

Now, let's have some quotes. (Hang with me for a minute, this is where it gets fun) The first three items can be attributed to Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), and Bill O'Reilly of the Fox News TV show The O'Reilly Factor.

Hit it Ricky!

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality —"

To which the AP reporter responds (I love this part):

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out."

Yeah, we didn't either, and don't worry, it's freaking everyone out. Trust me.

Praise the Lord, Here's Johnny:

"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean that it's right. ... Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."

And finally, come on Bill, spin that goat (wonder why he didn't say donkey...):

So this is just the beginning, ladies and gentlemen, of this crazy gay marriage insanity -- is gonna lead to all kinds of things like this. Courts are gonna be clogged. Every nut in the world is gonna -- somebody's gonna come in and say, "I wanna marry the goat." You'll see it; I guarantee you'll see it.

I'll admit I know Guffman about Freud, but this sort of freak-talk is really frightening. And coming from sitting Republican Senators? What kind of weird repression do these statements come from?

P.S. - Ancillary: SpongeDob StickyPants whipping a dachshund with a belt takes the cake. Assholes...

posted by FuzzFinger @ 5/12/2005 09:25:00 PM