Marble Composition

Federal Emergency Management Agency

I put the full title of FEMA up there because it pretty clearly describes what their mission should be all about: managing emergencies.

If you were interviewing people for leadership of that agancy, and you knew that an applicant was "was fired from his last private-sector job overseeing horse shows", that would put the candidate's application in the "are you kidding me?" pile, no?

Not if you're doing the hiring for the Bush administration. Apperantly, the only qualifications needed are access to power, and above all, loyalty (via Josh Marshall):

The federal official in charge of the bungled New Orleans rescue was fired from his last private-sector job overseeing horse shows.

And before joining the Federal Emergency Management Agency as a deputy director in 2001, GOP activist Mike Brown had no significant experience that would have qualified him for the position.

The Oklahoman got the job through an old college friend who at the time was heading up FEMA.

The agency, run by Brown since 2003, is now at the center of a growing fury over the handling of the New Orleans disaster.

(Give me more, this guy has potential written all over him!)

Brown was forced out of the position after a spate of lawsuits over alleged supervision failures.

``He was asked to resign,'' Bill Pennington, president of the IAHA at the time, confirmed last night.

Soon after, Brown was invited to join the administration by his old Oklahoma college roommate Joseph Allbaugh, the previous head of FEMA until he quit in 2003 to work for the president's re-election campaign.

So, if you're a Republican hack, and you've paid your dues, you deserve your place at the taxpayer feeding trough as head of some no-name, do-nothing agency.

Oh but our wayward path through this hop-scotch game we call life is put upon from all sides, and as the cruel hand of fate would have it, if you're hired as the head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, you're supposed to know how to MANAGE A FUCKING EMERGENCY. That, and try not to get fired from overseeing horsee shows too, mmkay?

You might also wonder, who is this Joseph Allbaugh fellow? Again, we turn to our friend Josh Marshall, who really is a one-man wrecking ball/news gathering organization (someone give him a Pulitzer). This item is from September of 2003:

Let me introduce you to New Bridge Strategies, LLC. New Bridge is 'Helping to Rebuild a New Iraq' as their liner note says.

Here's the company's new blurb from their website ...

New Bridge Strategies, LLC is a unique company that was created specifically with the aim of assisting clients to evaluate and take advantage of business opportunities in the Middle East following the conclusion of the U.S.-led war in Iraq. Its activities will seek to expedite the creation of free and fair markets and new economic growth in Iraq, consistent with the policies of the Bush Administration. The opportunities evolving in Iraq today are of such an unprecedented nature and scope that no other existing firm has the necessary skills and experience to be effective both in Washington, D.C. and on the ground in Iraq.

A 'unique company'? You could say that. Who's the Chairman and Director of New Bridge? That would be Joe M. Allbaugh, President Bush's longtime right-hand-man and until about six months ago his head of FEMA. Before that of course he was the president's chief of staff when he was governor of Texas and campaign manager for Bush-Cheney 2000.

Allbaugh was part of the president's so-called 'Iron Triangle' -- the other two being Karl Rove and Karen Hughes. And now Allbaugh's running an outfit that helps your company get the sweetest contracts in Iraq? That sound right to you? Think he'll have any special pull?

Visit the site to see their "interactive map of Iraq [which] will show areas of opportunity in the post-war rebuilding effort for specific industries."

It's James Fisk and Jay Gould of Arabia. Unbelievable ...

The next time you start your very own war of choice, make sure your friends get in on the ground floor for all those new "opportunities" that just opened up. And if you're the guy setting up shop, don't forget to give your flunkie old roommate a call to take over the federal agency you just left in tatters. It's been said before many times by people wiser than me; this really is the modern Republican Party in a nutshell. Governing a nation is for pussies. What reigns above all else is fealty, patronage, cronies, and cash. As the current head of the CIA once put it, "show me a stained blue dress and I'll open an investigation".

posted by FuzzFinger @ 9/03/2005 10:43:00 AM