Marble Composition

My My, That's A Big Goiter You Have There

Ed Kilgore over at Josh Marshall's TPM Cafe seemed to say what a lot of people have been thinking about President Bush's appointment to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court:

This appointment represents the giant balloon payment at the end of the mortgage the GOP signed with the Cultural Right at least 25 years ago. Social conservatives have agreed over and over again to missed payments, refinancings, and in their view, generous terms, but the balance is finally due, and if Bush doesn't pay up, they'll foreclose their entire alliance with the Republican Party.

Here's what traditional Grand Old Party types have either missed or have failed to come to terms with: The modern Republican party has been hijacked by religious and cultural fanatics. Not necessarily on policy choices, oh no, no worries there, modern pachyderms are still complete whores to K Street Lobbyists. But as far as voting blocs go, if you want to run for president under the GOP banner, you better talk the talk, even if you don't quite walk the walk. Just look at the way presidential-hopeful and Senate Majority leader Bill Frist falls all over himself to court the religious and the right (diagnosing Terri Schiavo as responsive, screwing up the names of NASCAR drivers at a race), and you've seen all you need to about future Republican candidates for president. They might as well drop to their knees and cry for forgiveness Jimmy Swaggert style (at least he actually got to fornicate with a real live whore, even while he played a money-grubbing one on TV. Neat that.).

If you need more proof, have a gander at what's happened to Kansas. One day the GOP strategists might come to realize that they really need to cut the Clown Show loose, and I'll be watching that closely. It could take years, but I'm a patient sort, and these socialogical shifts take time. Heck, you never know, SpongeDob Stickypants may decide he can't get anything through with the Republicans in power and run off and form his own shiny, new political party. That would be enough to tear away enough votes from the Ruling Party to make sure Democrats get elected en masse, even for president, and that my friends would leave yours truly in a perpetual state of, well, it'd be like I viewed the photographs of 500 puppies in a row. I'm betting on the former scenario, so the goiter's got to go.

Ed couldn't be more right: the bill has come due, and Mr. Swagger had better ante up or he'll have one hell of a revolt on his hands (pun intended, bite me).

posted by FuzzFinger @ 7/06/2005 05:41:00 PM